Self Regulation: How can I help my child learn?

Self Regulation is the cornerstone to early childhood development.

As a matter of fact, self regulation is the number one predictor to academic success in children ages 3 to 5 years old. The ability to self regulate is not something that you’re born with.

You mean, my kid doesn’t come with a self regulation button?

No. Your child comes with a set of processes that lay a foundation for self regulation. They learn to self regulate through a complex number of experiences that help build their capacity to self regulate. These can include their underlying biological traits.

What does that mean?

It means that your child is born with certain traits that help them to self regulate.

And some kids are not born with traits to help them self regulate?

Not exactly. All kids have the capacity to learn to self regulate. It happens over time and through a period of processes. But things happen that make some kids more vulnerable. (Think trauma).

But my kid hasn’t had trauma.

Some kids have underlying individual differences (cognitive, sensory, developmental ) that impact their ability to effectively self regulate). So, for example, in order to self regulate, we first begin to learn this process through co-regulation. Regulation is the process by which a trusted caregiver helps an infant or child or person to manage moment changes in their environment, sensory input, or reception of internal sensory processes.

What does that mean?

When a baby is born, that baby is born with certain processes. They can smell, they feel touch, they can see a little bit.

Some children need more support than others to develop these skills. For example, if a child does not get what they need from early relationships with adults, the conditions in their environments (or worse, if the influences are sources of toxic stress), their development can become seriously delayed or impaired. Sometimes, a child has had stress or trauma that affects those processes (in utero, in their early childhood years, or later in life).

Sometimes a child is born with neurodevelopmental differences. (Meaning, their brain works differently). Their ability to take in these processes might be slightly different. Not what we would expect. (this is the case with autistic people and other neurodivergent individuals)

How do we help children with neurodevelopmental differences?

First off, we don’t want to change the way their brain works. That’s not going to work. Their brain is their brain and that’s just the way it is. So we, as the grown-ups, can learn a bit about how their brain works, and we can change how we respond to them to help them respond better to us. That’s co-regulation!!

Here’s an example:
Let’s say that your baby is a little more over responsive to all the environmental input. For example, it’s hard for them to bring their eyes to focus on one thing at a time. Their eyes are all over the place, they cannot find you in space, they are visually distracted by everything.

What to do?

• You could start by working in a darkened room with them.
• You could put a blanket over your shoulder as you feed them.
• You might point your body in a way so that they don’t have much to look at besides you
• You feed them and there aren’t a lot of other people around.

How about older kids?

• Older kids benefit from co regulation strategies to help them focus and attend to tasks.
• Does your child benefit from you speaking with lower tones?
• Is it helpful to use a rhythmical cadence in your voice?
• If you sing your instructions can they tune in better?

What helps them to pay attention… to you?

This is the basis for self regulation. Being able to keep calm leads to attention and then engagement! More to come on that!

What is the DIRFloortime Method?

The DIRFloortime method teaches caregivers how to regulate one’s self and co-regulate your child to have better engagement. Having a solid regulatory capacity and being able to attend lead to engagement. Engagement leads to opportunities for teaching and learning new higher level skills (think academics, social interactions, motor skills). Without these cornerstone skills the child struggles to make positive developmental progress.

If you’re interested in learning more about supporting your child using a developmental individualized relationship based (DIRB) approach give Therapeeps Occupational Therapy a call at (605)-204-0677 or complete our intake form. Check out how Occupational Therapy can help children with neurodevelopmental differences here!

More information and resources:
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/