How to Build Connection With Your Toddler Through Play

As a parent, you’ve probably heard that connection matters, but what does that actually look like in the middle of toy battles, tough transitions, or toddler meltdowns?

The answer is simpler than you think: play.

You don’t need fancy activities or a perfect script. The best way to build connection, and support your toddler’s development, is by meeting them in the moments that already happen every day.

Why Connection Comes First

It’s tempting to jump straight into correcting behavior:

👉 “Say sorry.”
👉 “Don’t do that.”
👉 “Stop throwing!”

But toddlers learn best through relationships, not rules. When you respond with curiosity, playfulness, and presence, you’re not just calming a situation – you’re building trust, emotional skills, and long-term learning.

That’s the heart of connection before correction.

How to Build Connection With Your Toddler (Through Play)

1. Follow Their Lead

Instead of directing play, pause and watch what your toddler is interested in. Then join in without taking over.

Why it helps: This shows your child they’re seen, heard, and safe being themselves. It builds attention, confidence, and social-emotional skills.

Example: Your toddler is stacking blocks and you want to show them how to make it more complex. Instead of correcting, you say, “Whoa, that’s a tall tower! Can I add one too?” Now you’re in it together.

2. Match Their Mood

Play doesn’t have to be big and loud. If your child is quiet and focused, stay calm. If they’re being silly, join the silliness. You’re showing them it’s safe to be exactly who they are.

Why it helps: Matching energy and emotion builds co-regulation, which is the foundation for emotional control later on.

Example: Your toddler is pretending to be a sleepy puppy. You curl up next to them and “snore” too. That shared moment? It’s building brain pathways for connection and communication.

3. Support, Don’t Stop, the Hard Moments

Instead of jumping in with “No!” or “We don’t do that!” try responding with connection first:

💛 “You’re feeling upset right now.”
💛 “It’s hard to stop playing.”
💛 “I’m here. We’ll figure it out together.”

Why it helps: Your toddler’s brain is still learning how to handle frustration, disappointment, and change. When you stay regulated, they learn to be, too.

Example: Your toddler throws a toy when it’s cleanup time. You kneel down and say, “You didn’t want to stop? Let’s clean up together and then pick one toy to keep out.” You’ve set a boundary, but you’ve stayed connected.

Everyday Play = Everyday Learning

Play helps toddlers:

✨Feel safe and seen
✨Practice back-and-forth interaction
✨Learn to regulate emotions
✨Build problem-solving and creativity

You don’t need to teach a lesson every time. Just be with them, especially in the messy moments.

Knowing how to build a connection with your toddler doesn’t require perfection. It just takes presence. By showing up with curiosity, playfulness, and empathy, you’re helping your child grow in every way that matters.

Want more ideas on building connection through play? Check out out our blog, Building Social Skills in Toddlers Through Play, to see how occupational therapists support infants and toddlers in developing meaningful relationships through connection, play, and everyday interactions.

Interested in occupational therapy for you child? Complete our intake form or schedule a free discovery call today.